What is this post all about?
Kizomba is derived from the Portuguese word „Kizomba“ and originates in Angola, Africa.
Normally I am talking about how to use the words and then to use the vibe to emphasize the connection.
This should be a subconscious thing with time. You shouldn’t necessarily feel the need to think about it.
And since I am always was posting about: „How to talk.“
I’ll also give you two tools to get more out of your head, therefore you can feel better.
Another tool will be useful to increase your presence, when you’re fully in your body you become even more aware of all the sensations in your body.
It is this time about: „How to feel.“
We deal with the vibe here. The emotions. The sensations.
Kizomba works a lot with touch.
To be even more precise:
You couldn’t even really dance kizomba without a lot of touching.
Connect with your Body, Mind and Soul.
In the long run this is all about getting thoughts, words and actions aligned.
This means: You want to dance. You want to feel. And if you’re even thinking, then just about this.
It takes some time to master this dance. Yes.
But only seconds to feel something you might have never been aware of before.
Especially if you’re not a dancer.
So I advice you: Give yourself a chance and try a kizomba course.
Almost every bigger town near you offers trial course that you can take part in for little or no money.
Connect with your Body and your Feelings.
Here you will learn a lot of things.
Just imagine you’re attending a course.
So you’ll have to choose a dance partner.
„Every one finds a partner now. Commands the dancing teacher.“
Ok, there is this woman over there. You find her kinda cute.
Now you’re instructed about the position.
There are two ways of holding each other.
The man may use his left hand to hold the woman’s right hand.
And the upper bodys, let’s say the torso touch. Without the gut.
As a man you will basically taking responsibility for the leading completely.
Respect each other’s Private Space.
Not everyone can let a complete stranger into his private space.
This might more often be the case for the woman. But you could also be the one as well.
You will immediately feel if the woman is willing to let you come as close as it is needed for the dance.
If she’ll hold you back, respect that. The slightest uncomfortableness of the woman means for you as a man:
Back off. One step back. Never force it. It is something powerful. Not forceful.
You will notice in a matter of seconds if there is chemistry.
You will feel it in the vibe. The woman might close her eyes if she feels secure in your arms when you’re doing the lead.
What does this mean for you? Just demand that she is emotionally open to let the two of you dance very tight is not enough.
You have to open up yourself, too. Otherwise, you’ll create a lot of distance and not togetherness.
Connect to your emotions. Feel her. Literally. With your body and your mind. Let’s say: Put in your soul.
Let’s say: Put in your soul and your heart and let your spirit do the rest.
Try to get out of your head
To really be able to fully feel what’s going on, I give you two things you can do to make this a lot easier.
How to get out of your Head instantly.
Are you someone who’s always in his head?
If history is an indicator: You are. Definitely. A lot. 🙂
Let’s change that right now.
There’s a trick that will basically short circuit your brain and in turn, shut your thinking process off.
That means your subconsciousness will immediately take place and do the work for you.
In other words: Your thinking mind is a lot slower than your subconscious.
I bet you had a lot of moments in your life when you were not thinking at all.
And could even tell that if someone would ask you for that very moment.
Ok, here comes the tool:
To make your think process shut off, you have to say yourself a question that your brain will never be able to answer.
Because it is always changing due to your brain. I know. Sounds a little bit woo and crazy.
And this question is:
„What will be my next thought?“
Your brain will start searching and never know.
Therefore a little moment of silence is introduced in your mind.
Try it now. Stop reading. Ask yourself this question.
You can also slightly change it:
„Which color will have my next thought?“
„Which sound will have my next thought?“
„Which smell will have my next thought?“
Just wait. Until the next thought comes.
If the next thought comes, give yourself a short break and accept that the thinking process is kicking in again.
Now: Do it again. 🙂
Try it up to 10 times for now. You’ll see the length of the silent moments will increase.
Dependant on how much you’re normally in your head, the first try might even give you only 1 second of silence.
Or it might be longer. This is different for each and every person and depends on where you’re at as well.
Activating your charisma big time
On to the second tool.
Now you might get out of your head, but not necessarily into your body.
You have to increase your presence. But how?
There is an easy trick:
Concentrate on the feeling in your toes.
This will literally make your brain sweep from the top of your head to the bottom of your toes
and bring you instantly more into your body.
Do this only for some seconds before the two of you are starting to dance.
I guarantee if you’re doing it right: you’ll love it.
And she’ll love it too. Definitely.
Control – How do I know I do it right?
That’s a very good question.
If you’re doing it right and you’re implementing all the things mentioned above,
you will get a very good feeling that transfers onto her and everyone looking at you will see a happy smiling couple dancing.
If you’re smiling and it seems to be for no reason, then you’re doing it right. It comes effortlessly.
Here you can see it as well: She’s smiling. She loves the energy between her and you.
Just enjoy it!
Now you might ask:
What else do I have to know or do?
Nothing! Sometimes it is just time to not learn anymore but to enjoy.
Because you will learn to get very connected to your feelings.
Thus this will make your dance partner very happy because the empathy and the chemistry is there.
So you create that feeling of togetherness. And she and you can let go.
Reminder / Checklist
- Find out where is a Kizomba trial course in your town or near your town.
Attend it. Just do take part in the trial part. To get to know the dance and what it is all about.
Don’t cop out and push through.
- Respect each other’s private space. Don’t force. Back off if necessary.
- Practice getting out of your head.
- Increase your presence.
- Watch if the two of you start smiling once just because.
P.S.: Kizomba is Passion.