When you’re building trust by establishing a deep emotional connection to create an environment of security for the two of you.
Why? Because the person you’re talking to will realize more and more the following things:
- You don’t judge.
- You’re listening actively.
- You’re accepting.
- You’re not rejecting.
- You’re not differentiating.
- You’re not changing the topic.
- You don’t just talk over your conversation partner.
- You don’t try to be right.
- You give space to talk, which means you’re silent.
- You don’t pressure. You enjoy the silence.
- You keep it secret. (Between the two of you)
So what this does all mean? Which impact does it create?
Let me start this with another question:
Have you ever felt like you wish you could talk to a person about everything and not fearing to be rejected or judged?
So you know you could even show your most vulnerable side and won’t feel like someone stabbed a knife into your heart?
Tell me when you faced an opportunity like that for the last time. This year? Last year? 10 years ago?
And how many times you would have the chance to do so? I bet a lot.
This does a lot of things:
You can suddenly talk about yourself. Openly. You can up open more and more over time.
You don’t have to hold back anymore or act. You really can be yourself.
There is enough space and there is no pressure.
This Space is Created From Two Sides:
One is like not pressuring, not judging, not differentiating, not be put in a box.
Like all those relate to not restrict you as a person.
And the other part is about showing genuine interest and finding out what you’re all about.
Like extending the perception of you.
If you tell this:
“You know I used to bully my siblings.”
There is no:
“You’re stupid. Because you did that.”
When you tell that:
“I feel like life sometimes suffocates me”
then there is no:
“Just think positive. You really should know that! Come on. You can do it.”
There is only:
“I can imagine that this is not easy for you… because of…”
Or you if you tell like:
“You know I have this stupid habit of…”
then there is no like:
“Yeah, I hate when people do that. Please stop that.”
Instead, there is something like:
“Yeah and I can imagine that you need a lot of courage to tell that to someone because they might immediately say, like: ‘Oh my God! You’re so stupid. What is this shit? Grow up!’ Or something like that.”
There’s only still genuine interest asking for the why? How it makes you feel? And what type of person you are?
And there’s also no:
“Pheew. Look at that person. No way I am gonna talk to someone like this.”
Now just imagine there is still that thing in your mind. Let’s for example mention that you’re very into spirituality.
Especially like one part healing stones. And you want to talk about that with someone.
You tried before with your best friend but he said:
“Sorry, I don’t believe in that bullshit.”
And Suddenly You Can Let Go and Relax
So it does make no sense to talk ever with him about that again. Especially because you already tried several times.
Therefore you decided it’s to no avail and you stop trying.
And suddenly there is this person. This guy. He might even tell you:
“You know, Mariah, sorry. I don’t believe in that. But I really want to know what it means for you.
Tell me. Because I don’t really know much about it. To admit. I am willing to learn.”
And he said that in a very friendly tone. You start to talk and you notice nothing is coming up that forces you to hold back.
No. The opposite is the case. He even wants to know more and how it affects you.
After a while, you have the feeling you can tell everything.
Now you collected some of your courage again and are opening up even more.
You tell about things you’ve never imagined you would have the opportunity to talk about.
What happens? The conversation flows. You relax and notice that you can finally be yourself.
How someone said to me:
“It’s amazing that something like this exists. That people can come to each other and share. No one rejects any part of you.”
And therefore you feel highly appreciated. You feel accepted. You feel heard.
As well as a sense of love comes into play and with that also some sort of peace.
Relaxation, because there is no need to hold back anymore or to think about the words in a way
where you have to think carefully so would not be judged. No. Now you need to think because you might never have talked about those topics. It’s very refreshing. If someone explores a deeper side of yourself.
It’s real. It’s rare. It’s raw. And it gives you the feeling of tremendous security.
Many times conversations are toxic.
This is literally healing as well and very pleasant at the same time.
So use this to make people feel at ease when talking to you.
They will love it.
And so do I.
You had any story that is connected to that topic you want to tell me?
Write it into a comment or send me an E-Mail.